4th Gondolaz..

Shouldn't be this way..hurm2..

It is impossible to be in relationship and not have a fight every now and then.(saye pon slaloo gadoo..huhhu!)..Well,to me,it is considered healthy to have conflict in your relationship at times. I believed that couples that do not fight at all are not really invested in each other and the relationship. They simply do not fight because they do not care what happens to the relationship.. am i right?? So,how much and what kind of fighting is normal?Is there such a thing is normal??hurmm..

p/s: Normally,most of the couples are involving in 'stupid fights'..haha!!Fights that are not really about anything important..they just happen because the couples cannot communicate effectively..esp,ble jauh2 ni..:P

ok,just now,i've read the articles by Phyllis Goldberg talking about 5 tips to minimize the buildup of negative feelings and resentments. Everyone know theirselves and their partners well, so i guess,you can incoporate the following strategies that will work for you and also your relationship!:)

first : Agree to stop arguing and postpone the difficult conversation until u're both feeling less upset. Or step away or put some distance between you and the situation. Take a short break and wait until u both are relaxed enough to return and listen to each other.

second : While spending time apart(like me n sayang..ngee),settle down by thinking more constructive thought, such as..his anger isn't all about me, we really love each other, he's under a lot of pressure at work, this too shall pass, i'm upset now but i know we're right for each other.

third : Get into comfortable position,close ur eyes and breathe in deeply several times trough your nose. Hold your breath for five seconds and release it trough your mouth. Ignore any intriding and negative feelings, Notice how focusing only on ur breathing, make you feel more refreshed.

fourth : Throw yourself into an activity that give you some immediate release.(for instance,call you good frieds and tell him/her about ur feeling, or listen to ur fav music)

fifth : Distraction is a powerful tool and can be in whatever form best suits the character of your relationship. Try humor, be playful or turn the controversy at hand into a game of debate.As a result, you and your partner will be able to enjoy deeper and more meaningful discussions.

p/s:Hahaha!!ym dgn boss about my new post ni..untung ina..hehehe..:P